Everyone faces fear – whether it’s in response to a perceived threat in the moment, worrying that a past hurt will occur again, or anxiety over the unknown.  What we’re afraid of and to what degree we feel fear is certainly important; however, it’s how we think and act when we face fear that determines our emotional well-being and inner strength.

Remember, fear is a normal part of life – its purpose is to protect us and keep us safe.  Unfortunately, our Ego Mind often uses fear to limit and restrict us, to keep us in our comfort zone.  When this happens, our fears will prevent us from enjoying life, fully connecting with others, and experiencing new adventures.  When you recognize that fear is holding your happiness and success hostage, it’s time to conquer those fears.

Let’s start by taking a look at the 3 types (or arenas) of fear:

1.  Current Fears
These are fears about your immediate circumstances, something that’s actually happening in the moment.  For example: you’re under an evacuation order due to a nearby wildfire, you are being harassed at work, or a loved one has just entered hospice.

2.  Stored Fears
These are fears that are in reaction to unhealed past events, something that you’re afraid will happen again.  For example, you were in an abusive relationship and now you’re avoiding dating, or you were bullied in school and don’t feel comfortable standing up or out.

3.  Anticipated Fears
These are fears of what has not yet come to pass, often fear of the unknown or falling into the Ego Mind trap of awfulization (expecting the worst).  For example, you’re not starting a new hobby because you won’t be any good at it and the people already in the group are going to judge you, or the economy is looking rough and you’ll likely lose your job.

If your fears are preventing you from taking advantage of new opportunities or being truly happy, then it’s time to release those paralyzing fears.  Can you imagine how wonderful your life will be once you break free and start living full out, instead of watching life passing you by?

We’re going to look at some concrete ways to begin conquering fear.  First of all, it’s important to know that there are 2 powerful antidotes to fear: information and action.  If you are facing Current Fears, getting a clear picture of the situation helps you to see what options you might have for support or what choices you’ll need to make to move forward.  If you are facing Stored Fears, it’s important to be able to identify and process the original experience so that you can notice what may be different now – perhaps you’re an independent adult instead of a powerless child.  If you are facing Anticipated Fears, a good reality check will likely reassure you that you have the resources (internal and external) to address the situation if/when it actually happens.  Information and action are the essential keys to breaking free from your fears.

4 Steps to Release Your Fears:

1.  First, acknowledge your fears.
Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?”  Make a list of everything that comes to mind – even if it sounds irrational or childish.  Then select one fear from your list that is hurting or limiting you the most right now.  Focus on that fear as you put the following steps into action.  Tuck the rest of your fears list away and resolve to tackle them one by one until you are free.

2.  Next, identify which type of fear it is.
Is this a Current, Stored, or Anticipated Fear?  Perhaps it’s a mixture.  Refer to the above definitions and write down how each type applies to this particular fear.

3.  Then explore the source of the fear.
Does this fear feel familiar?  Perhaps you can remember a specific incident that might have caused this fear: a turbulent flight triggering a fear of flying, or being bitten by a dog as a child.  If you’ve blocked out these memories because they’re too painful to remember, you may wish to seek expert help, such as hypnotherapy.

4.  Now, create an action plan.
What small steps can you take to release your fear?  For example, if you have social anxiety, start going to small group events, perhaps with a friend.  Don’t overwhelm yourself by taking on too much.  Be gentle with yourself, and reach out for support if you need it.

Above all, be patient – and be prepared to do some work because, just as the fear developed over time, it will take time and attention to conquer it.  Here are some more tips to successfully break free from fear:

• Make risk your ally.  Take a deep breath, feel the fear, and do it anyway.   Make the phone call, speak up in the meeting, say yes to a new opportunity.  Anytime we do things differently, we’re embracing risk.  Remember that the first time we do something new or scary is always the hardest – it will get easier!  Start small, and keep stretching yourself.

 

• Do your homework.  Many of our stresses, challenges, and fears are caused because we feel unprepared.  Take the time to explore solutions and put them into place before you need them. When you feel prepared, your worry turns to confidence.

 

• Live in the present moment.  If you don’t live in the past or future, life is much less stressful.  Relax into the present moment and see what happens.

 

• Realize that you are enough.  Even if you need to learn new skills, you can handle any challenge.  Seek out a mentor if needed, or find others support systems.  We can always grow and improve ourselves – and we don’t need to be perfect to do our best.

One of the most powerful and effective ways to conquer your fears is to do the things that frighten you.  When you give your fears a reality check and take small steps into action, you will create the evidence your Ego needs to begin releasing those fears.  Follow the steps above and start your journey from fear to freedom today!